The Widow's Mite

A painting hangs in the office buildings of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Salt Lake City. The painting is that of a young widow surrounded by children. The woman is casting in two mites. The Savior is in the background with a handful of his disciples. He tells them that of her want the widow has cast in all she has. 

There have been others with greater wealth who have cast in aplenty. But she has given all she has.

There are times when I have plenty, and I am able to give more. I have more energy, so I am able to provide greater service. I have more optimism, so I can give more encouragement. 


There are other times, though, when I don't have as much. I am in my down cycle of dealing with depression. I don't have the energy that I do at other times, so it is much more difficult to serve. I am filled with more pessimism than optimism. I struggle to give myself encouragement let alone anyone else. 

Deep within, I still have the same desire to serve. I simply don't have the same resources. My reservoir has been depleted to some degree. Sometimes more significantly than others. 

Yet, I am the same person in both circumstances. It is almost like I have two sides of me that are distant relatives. They know each other and may even recognize each other in passing, but they aren't close. 

When I am in my depressive state, I doubt that I will ever get better. On the other hand, when I am in my more stable state (maybe even a little better than stable), I thrill a little at the idea that I have gotten past the depression. I think that I am done with it and won't be heading back to see that sad little cousin. 

Both cousins have the same internal motivation to serve and to celebrate the differences in people and in life. 

Yet, they don't have the same resources. 

Carrie Fisher, in her book Wishful Drinking, refers to her two cousins as Pam and Roy. Roy is full of energy and enjoys life to excess. Pam, on the other hand, struggles to plod ahead. 

I don't know the names of my two distant cousins, yet. I do recognize that they are related and do have a similar motivation to serve and give of themselves. They just don't have the same capacity to do so.

Both have insights and service to give. I am beginning to appreciate that fact. 

Another thought on the matter is that the dichotomy that exists within me also exists in the people I find around me in daily living. I aspire to what Carol Dweck refers to as a growth mindset. At times when I am more of my "normal" self, I am much more in the growth mindset. 

In those periods, I am amazed that not everybody is in that same mindset. Don't they see life as an opportunity to learn and grow. To become better than they have been. To experience life as a living, breathing creature full of possibility. 

I am seeing, though, as I look at myself. That we don't all have the same capacity all the time. Some of us are struggling to survive. Life isn't a magical creature we are trying to tame. It can be either a threatening beast we cower before, or it is an old horse neglected in the stable.

I am learning compassion for those striving to hold on. I do aspire to live with a growth mindset. But sometimes it does't work out that way.